‘The Tinder Swindler’ and why we can’t look away from these horror stories of deception
Are you a fan of TV shows about first-rate frauds and skillful scammers? You’re not alone.
Hours after Netflix released “The Tinder Swindler” Wednesday, it appeared in the platform’s “Trending Now” section. By Thursday morning, the doc landed at No. 2 on the service’s Top 10 Movies in the country for the day, and that’s not surprising given the appeal of stories like these, experts say.
The 2-hour documentary thrill ride from the producers of “Don’t F**k with Cats: Hunting an Internet Killer” exposes Shimon Hayut, who allegedly conned women he found on the dating app. Two women featured in the film – Pernilla Sjöholm and Cecilie Fjellhøy – said he told them he was Simon Leviev, fictitious son of Lev Leviev, billionaire founder of jewel supplier LLD Diamonds.
On Hayut’s first date with Fjellhøy he proposed an impromptu trip via private jet. Unfortunately, according to the doc, Hayut’s jet-setter lifestyle and stays at the Four Seasons were bankrolled by his victims. Sjöholm and Fjellhøy say he claimed his life was in danger, and he needed access to their credit cards and cash so his supposed enemies wouldn’t be able to trace his whereabouts. Sjöholm estimates she gave Hayut $40,000 and Fjellhøy puts her estimate at upwards of $200,000. Per the film, “It is estimated he has swindled $10 million from victims across the globe.”
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The release of “The Tinder Swindler” follows Netflix’s “The Puppet Master: Hunting the Ultimate Conman,” which dropped earlier this month and centered on the deceptions of Robert Freegard, who conned his way to nearly $1 million pounds. Next month, the platform will debut “Inventing Anna,” a Shonda Rhimes-created miniseries chronicling the schemes of Anna Sorokin who pretended to be a German heiress. “The Shrink Next Door,” which arrived on Apple TV+ in November, tells the story of how psychiatrist Dr. Isaac Herschkopf took advantage of a client over three decades. The list goes on and on, and these series on conning and deception reel us in for multiple reasons says, psychotherapist F. Diane Barth.
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There’s a percentage of people who consume this content because they can relate to the victims, she says. But viewers who have no experience with schemes like these may also enjoy these series as they show “what to be on the lookout for.” Others get hooked because while watching they can tell themselves “I would never do that; I would never be caught in something like that.'” That attitude comes from our need to affirm we are safe from potential harm, Barth explains.
“We feel so vulnerable in the world, as it is right now, that I think we look for all kinds of ways to reassure ourselves that we we aren’t so vulnerable, that we’re not in danger.”
Dr. Pamela Rutledge, director of the Media Psychology Research Center, says we are “biologically wired to pay attention to danger,” and that explains our collective fascination with the true crime genre.
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Rutledge says a documentary like “The Tinder Swindler” puts the audience in the position of those who were deceived, and it has viewers asking “How charming was that person?”
“You get to take this little emotional journey with them, partly in the empathy of watching them, but partly in your own fears, anxieties, hopes and dreams,” Rutledge says.
“The Tinder Swindler” director Felicity Morris says the scope of Hayut’s deceit convinced her the story could be a documentary.
“We’ve all seen ‘Catfish’ and have found that to be mind-blowing on its own, but (this is) totally different,” she says. “The moment that you meet (a catfish), that’s the end of story, that’s when the con ends.” Hayut’s sophisticated plays – complete with a bodyguard, high-end travel and designer clothes – set the story apart. “It’s almost like (the women) step into ‘The Truman Show,” Morris adds.
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