Michelle Williams shared never-before-heard audio clips of a phone call with her fellow Destiny’s Child members, and it’s reminding us about the importance of checking in with our friends.
In the clips, shared to Williams’ Instagram Wednesday to promote her memoir “Checking In: How Getting Real about Depression Saved My Life—and Can Save Yours,” she catches up with Beyoncé and Kelly Rowland to talk about mental health.
“Look who checked in yesterday with me!!” Williams captioned one of the clips. “The only time we’ll let y’all eavesdrop on our group chats!!”
In one clip, Rowland chimed in on the idea of checking in, saying, “You have to allow yourself to hold a safe place in a safe space for all friendships to be able to check in.”
She continued, “It’s a blessing to be able to have that. When it’s your person, it’s nothing that they’ll judge you for. It’s nothing you can’t tell them, and I think that that’s the greatest thing Destiny’s Child has ever given me, is my gift of friendship for you ladies.”
Healthy friendships and social connection are important and can have a positive impact on your mental health and well-being, experts say.
“Connecting with others can help lower stress and foster a sense of meaning and purpose,” says David Harari, a psychiatrist and director of behavioral health at K Health. “Research also shows that social connection is associated with increased happiness, improved health and longevity.”
And just like the Destiny’s Child phone call reunion demonstrated, part of building close friendships is taking time to check in.
“Checking in with friends, through good times or bad, shows that you care and are there for support, something we could all benefit from in an increasingly changing world,” Harari says.
The Mayo Clinic suggests making an effort to see friends regularly and to check in with them in between meet-ups.
Staying connected can be an important part of maintaining mental health no matter your age. Sierra Filucci, editorial director of child advocacy group Common Sense Media, told USA TODAY in March 2020 that young people also benefit from check-ins with friends.
“Any opportunity to keep up social contact between kids is good just overall for mental health,” she said. “For younger kids, social interaction can be a very important part of education, and for older kids, social interaction is an important part of their social development.”
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In one clip, Williams also opened up about wishing she came to her friends sooner about her mental health challenges.
“It’s OK to not be OK, and it’s OK to tell somebody you’re not OK,” she shared. “Because honestly, I should have done that with y’all. I’ve been open about a lot of things that I never was real truthful about how I really was.”
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Opening up about yourself is another way to connect and build intimacy with friends.
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Williams also says that the pandemic has made the groups’ check-ins even more “intentional,” a theme many can relate to due to the isolation the past year has brought.
“A lack of social connectedness has very tangible effects on our health and well-being,” Dr. William Shrank, chief medical officer at Humana, wrote for USA TODAY in October. “Due to COVID-19 social distancing, we are all more aware of the negative effects of social isolation.”
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