I’m Not The Kind Of Mother I Thought I’d Be

To say I had been distraught about putting my still tiny baby—who’d had a hospital stay right after birth due to dehydration and jaundice, who was only in the fifth percentile for weight, who I’d spent every waking moment with since mid-April—was the understatement of the year. On a family trip to the Finger Lakes, then the Poconos, I’d started becoming emotionally unhinged. The day before my start date, which, fittingly, was Labor Day, I’d rushed down to a girlfriend’s apartment in Harlem to have a glass of wine and a cigarette to calm my nerves. The only other emotion competing with the nervousness was sadness. Wouldn’t you know, this career-driven thirty-something actually liked being home all day with her baby.

Article source: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/im-not-the-kind-of-mother-i-thought-id-be_us_59fbc609e4b09887ad6f3f00?utm_hp_ref=new-york-city