Single this holiday season? Here are five things you need to keep in mind.

Can you be in love with more than one person?

You are saved from the drama. Most holidays involve splitting time between each other’s family or friends. All the get-togethers and dynamics can be stressful, especially if it’s your first time meeting each other’s loved ones or if you know that their family or friends don’t like you. With crowded dinners, family traditions and history –– there are often moments that can lead to your feelings being hurt or tasking you with the job of consoling your partner about something someone said to them. Simply, you don’t have to be embarrassed by your relatives or endure theirs. 

There’s a difference.

You have the potential to meet someone new. If you’re single, you can enjoy having sex with someone new, going on dates or starting a relationship. You get to enjoy all the festive activities with someone new (if you choose to). During the holidays, first date activities are abundant. You can go skating, take a walk during the first snowfall, hand-make cards, try to find the best hot chocolate in the city or see The Nutcracker. 

You don’t have to stress about the gift. There is a lot of pressure on getting the “perfect” gift for your significant other; if you’re single, you no longer have that. You also have the extra perk of saving money or spending it on yourself if you want to. Let’s not forget about not having to fake excitement or downplay your disappointment when your partner doesn’t get the seven hundred hints you left them about the gift you wanted.

If you’re single and unhappy about it, ask yourself:

• Why am I sad to be single right now?
•  Do I want someone to enjoy the month with or do I actually want a relationship?
•  Is my family putting pressure on me to be in a relationship? How is that impacting me?
• Have I put in enough effort to ensure the holiday festivities are enjoyable even if I am single?
• What benefits do I see in not being in a relationship at the moment?

Two things can be valid; you can be sad about being single and enjoy your holidays. You can choose to make the best of your situation and context. This process doesn’t mean ignoring how you feel, it means leaning into the things that can still bring you happiness and meaning.

Sara Kuburic is a therapist who specializes in identity, relationships and moral trauma. Every week she shares her advice with our readers. Find her on Instagram @millennial.therapist. She can be reached at SKuburic@gannett.com.

Who should you be spending more time with? 6 types of people to keep close.

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