Lessons for all of us in ‘The Kardashians’ finale

Panchakarma cleanses and sprawling new mansions. But the season’s final episode showed us in part why the Kardashians’ appeal endures, documenting the fallout from Tristan Thompson’s last public episode of infidelity and the ways in which the sisters wrestle with betrayal, trust and healing. It was a depiction of universal challenges in striving for healthy relationships.

Khloé spoke about trauma, saying she felt publicly and privately humiliated by Thompson’s chronic deceptions, but also numb and desensitized. Kim spoke about growth, presumably referencing the end of her marriage to Kanye West, declaring during a family meeting that she’s gotten to a place where “if you bring bad energy into my life, a boundary goes up.” Khloé and Kim connected on motherhood, expressing the lengths each went to preserve their relationship for their children. At the end of the episode, Scott and Khloé discuss whether they can avoid carrying old wounds into new relationships, with Khloé replying, “I think we totally can find people we can trust,” but past experiences mean they’ll probably love “differently.”

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“They are operating in a completely different economic sphere, a celebrity sphere, all these kinds of things that are far separated from regular people. However, I don’t think that by any means makes it either unrelatable, irrelevant, potentially uninteresting or not instructive,” said Robert Thompson, director of Syracuse University’s Bleier Center for Television and Popular Culture. “I don’t think we’d have kept watching this whole time if everything they did was completely separate from our experience. It would’ve become meaningless.”

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“I’ve done this so many times now,” she says. “There are no more tears left to cry.”

Durvasula said repeated infidelity can foster a sense of self-blame, self-doubt, anxiety, rumination, regret, confusion, depression, irritability, distraction and difficulty sleeping or eating.  

“It pulls a person out of their lives,” she said.

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Sussman said based on work in her clinical practice, she believes a relationship can recover from a single episode of infidelity. Multiple infidelities, however, can indicate a deep-rooted psychological problem. A person who is cheating chronically needs immediate help, she said, and that may include rehab. 

“Even then it’s complicated whether (the relationship) can go forward,” she said.

Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships

During a family meeting to discuss Thompson, Kim says she’s learned the importance of setting boundaries, which mental health experts say are essential for any healthy relationship. 

“When we do not have healthy boundaries, those who prefer to have their own needs met – regardless of what is healthy for others –  will often simply proceed in ways that feel easiest for them,” Manly said. 

As difficult as it can be to set healthy boundaries, Manly said, it is the only way that safe and trusting relationships are formed in the long run. 

Sussman said setting boundaries can look like saying, “No, we’re not spending all of our time together,” or “No, you can’t talk to me this way,” or “No, it’s not OK that you expect that of me.”

Sussman says infidelity is “the ultimate boundary violation.”

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“Second chances” is a prominent theme in the episode. Kourtney says during the family meeting that they “are people who would actually get Tristan help.” Khloé says she’s a proponent of giving people multiple chances to better themselves.

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After repeated betrayals, working to heal

During the episode, Khloé stresses that one of the most difficult things about Thompson’s infidelity is the accompanying public reaction and judgment.

The Kardashians have become part of the fabric of American culture, and in sharing their lives have invited scrutiny and critique. They have been accused multiple times of cultural appropriation, of promoting unrealistic beauty standards, of being deeply out of touch. Everyone has an opinion on what Khloé deserves and has tolerated.

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