Esquire Asks If Miles Teller Is A ‘Dick’

August 07, 2015
Los Angeles

There are those who will try to tell we that Gay Talese’s “Frank Sinatra Has a Cold,”greatest luminary form ever written

Esquire still binds a pretension as a publisher of a best luminary profile, now it only belongs toÂ Anna Peele and her Â brutally honest comment of Â “Fantastic Four” star Miles Teller

We’re flattering certain she got her answer, and this is what she (and a rest of us) detected from her talk with a 28-year-old actor who we might have seen in “Whiplash,” “The Spectacular Now” and “Divergent.”

Â The highball glass, he quips, was modeled after his penis:

You’ve only told him, by approach of creation conversation, that according to fable a champagne coupe in your palm is made like Marie Antoinette’s left breast, and he tells we a highball potion is modeled after his cock. Then he tells a waitress a same thing.Â

Â He believes he’s substantially improved looking that a open thinks he is:

[Y]ou ask him about his hair. He’s brought adult how good it is in some-more than one interview. It’s a tiny defensive, like maybe he’s creation adult for not being a best-looking, or infrequently even a third-best-looking, male in any given film he’s in. “I was meditative about that today, how we substantially consider I’m better-looking than a open thinks we am,” he says with a laugh, like it’s humorous that he’s willed himself into a aloft tier of masculine beauty by vast confidence. “I was in one of these forums about a film we did, and it’s like, ‘This dude is so ugly! How does he get fucking parts?’ ‘Well, he’s not, like, traditionally handsome, but?.?.?.’ And that’s kind of what it is. Maybe it’s given we came from a tiny town, yet we always did good for myself.”

His girlfriend,Â Keleigh Sperry, has his initials tattooed on her butt.Â

[H]e dates a twenty-two-year-old model/aspiring swimsuit designer/professional partner who thinks Teller is appealing adequate to have henceforth monogrammed her ideal donkey with his initials.Â

He calls Joaquin Phoenix — who he’s never met, yet shares a same repute — Joaq.Â

“But if I’m unequivocally homing in on a thespian opening right now, it’s substantially Christian Bale or it’s Joaq.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake. Joaq?

“I only pronounced Joaq. Joaquin Phoenix. we don’t know him, yet my publicist has repped him given he was, like, seventeen. She repped River, too. So we only hear his name.”

But he’s not above seeking a publisher to cut food adult for him, when it’s unequivocally tough.Â

The waitress delivers a entrÃ©es, scallops for him and pig swell for you. The pig looks good and we offer him some. “I’ll take a tiny bit,” he says, sawing during it. Then: “I can’t cut this.” You have to cut his beef for him, a male who 10 mins progressing showed we an iPhone print of his behind muscles to infer how clever he is. He wants we to cut it small. “I don’t have behind teeth. we literally have 4 teeth.” Not true. He’s right, though, this pig swell is unequivocally tough to cut. But still. Â

Peele and Teller finished their talk with a cuddle and she wrote that a actor Â “goes off to minister to a cache or catalog or criterion or whatever a fuck we call it and attract a universe with his dickishness”

Miles Teller disagreed with her assesment:

Head over to Esquire to review a new biggest luminary form ever written.

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