One Man’s Message For Religious Men Struggling With Their Sexuality (VIDEO)

January 14, 2015
Los Angeles

Wendell James “Raising Whitley,”fashion follower father figure

In a really personal above video, Wendell plainly discusses his ongoing onslaught in regards to his faith and passionate identity. Even observant a difference “I am a happy man” has proven formidable for a Ohio native.

“My ‘Hollywood wife’ Kym Whitley asked me one time, she said, ‘Wendell, what is your truth?'” he recalls. “I had a tough time saying, ‘My truth, Kym, is we am a happy man.’ It’s given of my doctrine.”

Though he doesn’t repudiate his homosexuality, Wendell does acknowledge he prevents himself from carrying a critical relationship.

“I contend to friends all a time that I’d like to be in a attribute with a man, yet what happens is we self-sabotage,” he says. “I consider I’m going to ruin in a handbasket, as we like to say, given that’s not appreciative to Godâ€¦ I’m taught that, that is a strength wanting that relationship, yet that’s not appreciative to God.”

wendell james of lifting whitley

Wendell’s family members have also struggled with his sexuality and, in some cases, their bargain of what it means to be happy and some of a negative, and mostly untrue, stereotypes that are compared with it.

“When a AIDS widespread initial came out… my mom sent me a letter,” he recalls. “The minute said, ‘Wendell, when we see me, keep your emotions in check. Don’t run adult and cuddle me, given we do have to be careful. Can we suppose what that did to me on a inside?”

Wendell’s grandmother had a opposite approach. “Up until she upheld a integrate of years ago during 103, she always looked brazen to me carrying girlfriends — even yet we think, internally, she knew we was gay,” he says.

“This is a tarnish that my knowledge has taken me through,” Wendell continues. “And afterwards a church, who said, ‘It’s a impiety and you’re going to ruin for being gay.'”

With those things in mind, Wendell did what he suspicion was approaching of him: He married a woman.

“I suspicion [my marriage] would greatfully a Lord, and we would greatfully people in my life,” he explains. “The loyal fact is, we was not vital my authentic self.”

The dual have given divorced, and Wendell wants other group with identical practice to know that they are not alone.

“If we are going by a same onslaught as it pertains to your religion, we now have a Internet, we can Google, we can go to overdo programs — there are some churches out there that do have overdo programs and there are some churches that have happy resources,” Wendell says. “The bottom line is we don’t have to go by this alone.”

“Raising Whitley” front Saturdays during 9 p.m. ET on OWN.

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