The Magic of Your First Work Friends

When he was a kid, his parents talked through the family’s plans, like going to the mall or seeing a silly movie, by referring to the Abilene Paradox — that is, when the desire to be agreeable leads a group of people to do something that no one in the group wants to do. (The name comes from a regrettable trip the scholar who explained the paradox once took with his family to Abilene, Texas.)

That was what Mr. Baker-Butler thought about when, during a recent internship, he asked colleagues to have lunch with him virtually, knowing that nobody wanted one more hour of sitting in front of the computer eating leftover pasta. It wasn’t until nine months into his internship that he was finally able to enter the nonprofit’s office and realized what he’d been missing.

“When people were having relationship troubles or going to visit their families, I heard about that in person,” he said. “I could tell when my colleagues were frustrated, tired, excited, or who likes plain foods versus food with lots of spices and sauces.”

In 1993, Gallup published a list of the 12 elements that a workplace needed. According to Gallup’s chief workplace scientist, Jim Harter, one of the items surprised clients: Employees should be able to affirm, “I have a best friend at work.” Two in 10 U.S. workers tend to answer with a strong yes, and doing so can mean seven times higher job satisfaction and less cortisol in times of stress.

Executives devoting their energy to boosting friendships — through, say, off-sites or retreats — often talk about how workplace friendships benefit productivity. People with a best friend at work are more engaged in their jobs. Their organizations have fewer accidents, happier customers and higher profits. Workplace friendships, in other words, are good for business.

Article source: https://www.nytimes.com/2022/07/14/business/work-friends.html