On TikTok, people are confessing they’ve ‘never had a boyfriend’ – and millions are tuning in
Nicole Farina has never had a boyfriend.
The 26-year-old’s TikTok videos about her dating life – or lack thereof – have gone viral, likely because she is in strong, single company. The hashtag “#neverhadaboyfriend” on TikTok has more than 25 million views.Â
Her vulnerability evidently resonated with viewers (check out the thousands of comments). She shared how she feels undesirable and how a devil on her shoulder lurks, taunting her about her inexperience. Still, she knows she’s worthy of love.
“Seeing the response really made me want to just continue talking about it, and having that open conversation and normalizing it in a way because I feel like when I was growing up this was not talked about,” says the event planner and content creator from Charleston, South Carolina. On TikTok, she’s learned she’s far from alone as others in their 20s and 30s share similar stories on the platform about never having experienced a relationship.
relationship journey is different, so there is no need to stress if Farina’s story sounds all too familiar.Â
TikTok users share ‘never had a boyfriend’ videos
romantic relationships may not be forming as quickly for young people as they did in decades past.
“Overall, we’ve seen a shift in our culture that began occurring as millennials reached adulthood,” says Moe Ari Brown, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “We are no longer marrying as young as our parents did.”
get married for the first time in 2022 was 30.1 for men and 28.2 for women, according to U.S. Census Bureau estimates. In 1990, the median age for a man was 26.1 and a woman 23.9.Â
“This means that having your first romantic relationship might also happen later than in previous generations,” Brown adds. “This is good news for anyone who feels like they are the only one who isn’t partnered.”Â
Why people might not enter romantic relationships
People are staying in school longer, are more keen on exploring their LGBTQ identities and are questioning traditional relationship institutions, Brown says. Farina feels this generation is less willing to compromise to be in a relationship and alues independence.
That doesn’t mean self-doubt about one’s relationship status evaporated over time. “I definitely judge myself the most,” Farina says, though she senses others judge her, too. That’s part of why she remains open: “I want to be the one that talks about it so I can make the joke first before someone else can,” she adds.
relationships is the reason why someone finds they are remaining single.
“If someone is worried and finds social interactions awkward or uncomfortable there are coaches and therapists who can help employ exercises,” says Courtney Watson, licensed marriage and family therapist. “If the difficulty is related to unresolved traumas then again, therapy is a great tool.”
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