Rape on Philadelphia train was horrific, but experts say we’re missing something in our outrage
police say a woman was harassed, groped and then raped over the course of two dozen train stops while fellow riders watched and did nothing to intervene. Police are investigating whether some passengers recorded the attack on their phones, which authorities say stopped only when a transit officer got on the train, ripped the attacker off the woman and called 911.
It’s a horrific case that has many people outraged, prompting questions about why society is so tolerant of gendered violence and how we’ve become so inured to people’s suffering.
“It is a really heartbreaking story. Based on what we know, it seems like there were a number of folks who had an opportunity to make a difference, to take some form of action to get involved, and that those individuals actively chose not to do so,” said Laura Palumbo, communications director at the National Sexual Violence Resource Center. “But what we don’t know was if they were scared or if they were confused or if they were hoping someone else would take action, which is likely the case. … It’s true that being an active bystander is often not easy, often not straightforward.”
Police are investigating, and there’s much about the incident that remains unknown (whether people were actually recording, whether they were doing it for shock value or to deter the assailant, or what subtle ways they may have tried to stop the attack that didn’t involve physical restraint). But even absent all the facts, experts in gendered violence say the incident is an opportunity to emphasize the importance of bystander intervention, not just in cases of assault, but in our everyday lives.
Experts say that for most people, intervening won’t look like ripping a stranger off a victim in a public setting but rather challenging a culture that repeatedly minimizes and excuses sexual violence. Intervening includes everything from shutting down a sexist joke to insisting a friend not stay at the party alone to believing the person who tells you someone you admire committed harm.
Most rapes aren’t committed by strangers but by someone the victim knows. A man publicly assaulting a woman on a train frightens and perplexes us, but experts say it’s no less disturbing than a culture of complicity that normalizes sexual violence, frequently blames victims and rarely holds assailants accountable. Out of every 1,000 sexual assaults, 975 perpetrators will walk free, according to the Rape Abuse and Incest National Network.
“It is really easy to scrutinize bystanders in this really well-publicized case. What’s harder is to look at our own behavior,” said Nicole Bedera, an expert in sexual violence at the University of Michigan. “One of the things that we should all be asking ourselves right now is, ‘How have I enabled sexual violence?'”
Why ‘engaged bystanders’ are important
An “engaged bystander,” according to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, recognizes that preventing sexual violence can include intervening before, during or after someone witnesses or hears about behaviors that encourage abuse.
“We all have a role to play in disrupting and ultimately ending sexual violence,” said Indira Henard, executive director of the D.C. Rape Crisis Center.
Behaviors that deserve intervention can include inappropriate sexual comments, seeing someone interacting with a partner in a way that seems disrespectful or demeaning, and catcalling or sexual harassment on public transit. Many behaviors won’t require a 911 call, but they are still worth interrupting.
“When we’re silent, whether that’s out of fear or uncertainty – we are inadvertently condoning the behavior,” Palumbo said.
Documenting can help, but it needs to be paired with another intervention
In most cases, Palumbo said, intervention is about responding to harassing comments or mistreatment rather than active violence. When violence is occurring, there are several ways to try to help while also taking into account the bystander’s safety.
The organization Hollaback!, which seeks to end harassment, has identified what it calls the “5 Ds of bystander intervention”:
“He’s such a good guy” or “We should give him the benefit of the doubt.”
“You’re not doing the people in your life a favor if you refuse to intervene on the violence they have committed,” Bedera said. “One of the best predictors that a man will commit an act of sexual violence is that he belongs to a community that tolerates sexism. … A lot of men who’ve committed acts of sexual violence have never had anyone raise any reservations about their behavior to them before.”
Experts say creating spaces that are intolerant of sexual violence is key to preventing it.
“Part of what is so painful about this situation for survivors is that they may not feel shocked or surprised,” Palumbo said. “This situation affirms the worst fears of survivors. That others won’t care enough to believe you or to take action on your behalf. That if you’ve experienced harassment or abuse other people think that’s your problem and not something they need to do anything about.”
You may also be interested in:
- Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is explaining something about trauma. Experts say we should listen.
- The R. Kelly trial shocked us: Here’s what shouldn’t
- Demi Lovato pursued contact with her perpetrators after her assaults: It’s more common than people think
If you are a survivor of sexual assault, RAINN offers support through the National Sexual Assault Hotline (800.656.HOPE online.rainn.org).